Friends, Lovers and The Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry - A Book Review
Synopsis:
Here is the riveting story of acclaimed actor Matthew Perry, who takes us along on his journey from childhood ambition to fame to addiction and recovery in the aftermath of a life-threatening health scare. Before the frequent hospital visits and stints in rehab, there was five-year-old Matthew, who travelled from Montreal to Los Angeles, shuffling between his separated parents; fourteen-year-old Matthew, who was a nationally ranked tennis star in Canada; twenty-four-year-old Matthew, who nabbed a coveted role as a lead cast member on the talked-about pilot then called Friends Like Us. . . and so much more.
Genre: Non-Fiction Autobiography and Memoir
My Thoughts:
Insert photo *here* of the words I typed, that said my last book review would be the last of 2023, yet here I am with another - this actually is the last of 2023. I did say that I was getting a kindle for Christmas and it would be very rude if I didn’t read something on it. So I did and I read Matthew Perry’s autobiography, Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing, since it was also a Christmas present.
Matthew’s autobiography wasn’t something that was on my TBR list until my dad mentioned he was thinking of getting me it for Christmas - he was unsure whether to buy the physical copy or the kindle edition, so he told me about it before Christmas to see what I thought.
I was (strange using the past tense when referring to Matthew) familiar with Matthew’s work before his role as Chandler on friends; although I didn’t know it until watching friends, I knew him from something else - the movie 17 Again. I watched 17 Again when I was about 14 simply because of Zac Efron, having growing up being a Disney Channel kid and therefore watching the High School Musical franchise, I watched 17 Again for the sole purpose of Zac, unaware of Matthew Perry.
So it wasn’t until many years later, when I started watching friends that I realised it was the same actor who played the older version of Zac Efron’s character in 17 Again, who also played the loveable Chandler Bing. It’s only been 2 months since his death, but I remember waking up on a Sunday morning to various notifications on my phone about his death. I couldn’t believe it and the first thing I did was call my dad, because our Sunday morning routine was to watch friends reruns. I’m still shocked that he’s actually gone, because reading his memoir felt like he was right beside me reading the words on the page.
Friends, Lovers and The Big Terrible Thing are the words of Matthew Perry, in which he details his life in regards to his childhood, acting career, love life and the struggles of his addiction. Autobiography’s and memoirs in general aren’t something I go for at all, but seeing as it was a present, I had to read it - also being interested in his time on friends, as well as hearing in his own words, his struggle with addiction.
When reading Matthew’s memoir, I learned a lot about the health scares that he had as a result of his lifelong addiction to alcohol and drugs. It also made me feel extremely sorry for him because all he ever wanted was acknowledgment from his parents and unconditional love; something he would always self sabotage, because he didn’t want to be the one left by lovers - so he’d leave them before they got the chance.
I always thought that his struggle with addiction came as a result of the fame he received from friends, but I quickly learned that his issues started way before that. He sort of hints to the fact he was given alcohol as a baby, recommended by the doctor because he was a colicky baby as being a reason for his addiction, but he does say he doesn’t blame his mother or the doctors, he just makes the connection.
Matthew goes into detail about what was going on behind the scenes during the filming of each series of friends and as someone who loves the show, I don’t think I’ll be able to watch it in the same way I did before his death and reading of his book. He stated in his book that when he was skinny it was because he was taking pills and when he was overweight, he was drinking alcohol, so I think when watching those scenes, my mind will drift back to that statement. He did say that working on friends gave him so much joy and he would avoid being drunk or under the influence on set because he knew the show was something good. This gives me comfort when watching the show now, because despite knowing his struggles during the time of filming, he was still enjoying it. He revealed that on pretty much any film he was working on, he was addicted to something and the only way he became sober was because of his resistance to the drugs.
The memoir reads like a repeating cycle, which I assume is fitting for what Matthew’s real life was like - he found a woman, he loved her, broke up with her, became an addict, nearly died, went to rehab, got sober and repeat.
From reading his memoir, it’s clear that he had a lot of issues, but all he wanted at the end was to find someone to settle down with, so he could have kids and when he finally realised he was good enough, it was too late.
I did find the book hard to follow and understand at times through the use of slang and language used. The timeline of the book isn’t chronological, which also made it hard to follow as it kept jumping back and forth to different parts of Matthew’s life. I know he wanted to be remembered for is work beyond friends, but friends was the work that allowed him to do the other things and it’s what I’ll remember him for.
The photos at the end of the book had my heart hurting, because he brought so many people happiness from his comedy on friends and the thought of his struggles, really does make you feel remorseful for him.
I hope that wherever he is, he has found his peace
My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ - it’s not a book I’ll ever revisit, because of my personal taste and given the events. I wasn’t going to rate the book, but I think no rating would give the impression that I hated it, when I didn’t at all.
Georgia
♥
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